Sea Anemone :: Operation Opie Octopus :: April

I think I may need to issue an Amber Alert. Opie the Octopus has been kidnapped.

Opie the Octopus lives at my desk and is a friend to transient ladybugs. (Seriously, ask me about the swarms of ladybugs infesting our third floor office.)

I got back from lunch today to find a sealed envelope resting on my keyboard. Upon opening the envelope, I find

Inside is $20, a xerox of Opie and a ransom note.

It reads: "this is not a very good ransom note! so listen!!!!do as I say and you will see your loveable octopus again. deliver homemade pumpkin cupcakes in this office for everyone or just the women anyway. the deadline is april 16, 2007. if this deadline is not met you will find a little of octopus every other day until it is met. the contents of this envelope is to purchase ingredients for the cupcakes and frosting. do NOT call the authorities or you will never see octopus again except at a Chinese buffet."

(I do like that the kidnappers refer to him as a "loveable" octopus)

The clues point towards the kidnapper(s) being female and possessing of a discerning palate. I mean they asked me not for regular ol’ cupcakes, but homemade pumpkin cupcakes.

An amber alert has been issued and will continue in circulation tomorrow.

Any ideas as to how to deal with said kidnapper(s)? I’ve been thinking that horse tranquilizers would be ill advised.

7 Comments »

I am so sorry for you ordeal! How scary! I would just do as they say so you can get your beloved octopus back. I am sure they won’t hurt him if you comply.

P.S. You should send me that recipe…those look YUMMY!!

Comment by Jennifer — April 2, 2007 @ 9:39 pm

Oh goodness! May you find Opie all in one piece. You’d better comply or else Opie might end up being a sushi special served with extra wasabi. For safe measure, maybe you should throw in some extra cupcakes or extra frosting.

Comment by Secret Pal — April 3, 2007 @ 2:45 am

Well, those must be awesome punkin cupcakes and maybe you better share the recipe so that nobody else suffers from a copy-cat kidnapping. We can just nip that sucker in the bud right now!

Comment by Julia — April 3, 2007 @ 2:30 pm

I’m telling you, throw in some Ex-lax or something just as diabolical into the cupcake batter. I bet that would be the last time your octopus was kidnapped.

Comment by Mo — April 3, 2007 @ 3:55 pm

You better keep one eye on your knitpicks needles on Thursday, or they may succumb to a similar fate…

Comment by kelp! — April 4, 2007 @ 9:38 am

I say do as they say for Opie’s sake, and then bring one to me too. If they’re good enough that people are going to such extreme measures to get them, I want to get in on this.